Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Randomize
