porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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