Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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