May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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