the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
