The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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