Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
