I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
