After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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