I'm sorry my penis didn't work
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
its liver damage thursday
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize