just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
