Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
