is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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