meet me or not, i'm out of control
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
two words: eviction party
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
