Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
