chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
