I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
