Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
