You work out of a Hotel?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
