i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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