***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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