lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I have post one night stand depression
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
