I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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