I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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