Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Hippo gnu deer
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
