Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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