Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
