When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
