he puts the penis in happiness.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
