I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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