Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
