it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize