Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
