put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
