how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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