i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
