my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
