Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
