that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
