Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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