so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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