So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
