it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
