so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
