so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
