fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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