How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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