Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
