Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
