im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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