The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
