my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I am midnight drunk by noon
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
