So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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