I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
