I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
