Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
