I could have mohawked her pubes.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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