Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
