508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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