Dual....:-)
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
