You're so nebulous sometimes
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
