But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he fucked my hip out of place.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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