i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
